COMMUNITY GARDEN COMING SOON!

Oh man God is good. I haven't had internet at the Blue House in awhile so I'm behind on updates and stuff, but for now a coffee shop is a safe place to blog (no Mormons, haha). Mmmm so what is actually new...

The Filers were gone last week but they are home now. Thank you for praying for them. It was a hard time but good.

My last conversation with the missionaries was really cool. We talked about who God is for an hour and a half. I think it was pretty clear by the end of it that we believe in different gods. They said that in their quests for truth, the main thing that kept them from becoming traditional Christians was that the Trinity was confusing. I asked how the LDS Church handled the information in the Bible better than the Trinity, and they said they don't understand everything but it goes back to the feeling they got when they read the Book of Mormon. I asked how they deal with Kolob and the plurality of gods and they said the same thing. Basically it came down to the Trinity is confusing, Kolob is confusing, but they had the feeling when they read the Book of Mormon. It was really sad that they were so bound by that. I explained that we are not submitting to the idea of "trinity," we are submitting to what God reveals about himself through the Bible. In the Bible, we see that Father is God, Jesus is God and the Holy Spirit is God. God says there is only one God, no other before or after. Jesus claimed that he and the Father are one. We also see the relationships of love, submission and authority within the persons of the Trinity in the Bible. The Father sends the Spirit and the Son and the Son sends the Spirit and submits to the Father. The Spirit is referred to the Spirit of God, the Spirit of the Father and the Spirit of Jesus. We have a lot of information about it, and the Trinity is a way for us to understand it and put it together. It defines bounds, which the LDS Church falls out of, because they told us that they are each a god, that there are three gods. Chris told them that of course they don't understand the Trinity. Their spirits are dead unless they are born again and they can only understand things of the flesh. I was amazed how the boys shrugged that off, like "okay, whatever." God made men and women to be SUCH different communicators. I met with my friend Shannon to talk about getting her questions about God answered. She's a Christian who was was Mormon until a little over a year ago. She wants to start back from the basics. We talked about the missionaries and she said that when she was a Mormon, she tried really hard to understand how the Trinity worked and couldn't. But once she became a Christian, she wasn't burdened by it anymore. It's a mystery and it's revealed by faith, but not blind faith, faith that comes from having our eyes opened to knowing God relationally. It's been really cool understanding and accepting that people of the flesh are not able to understand the things of the Spirit. I've been thinking lately how I don't really care about Mormonism. It's fascinating in a morbid humor sort of way, but I don't care if people get baptized into the Mormon Church. I don't care if it's growing or anything. Really, it doesn't matter. Dead people are dead people, no matter what color coffin they are lying in. All that I really care about is about being a live person who offers life to the dead. What matters? Jesus, that's all.

Shannon and I started talking about theology stuff. It was a cool time for me to reflect on how far I have come spiritually. I had to explain to her that knowing a lot about God does not mean knowing HIM better. It will not improve your relationship with God on its own. It made me love God more in that I admired him more and had fuller worship, but it wasn't until that information became incarnational in my life that I fell in love with him again. I had to admit to a lot of pride that can come from information, especially important information. Someone can probably have pride in knowing a ton about leaves, another can have more pride in knowing molecular biology and more in knowing astronomy. Think about how much pride we can have by knowing a lot about the Creator of all of that. How strange human nature is. That should be humbling. And eventually it will be and through great deals of information we come much fuller worshipers. But I think we get really lost in pride, and that's pride in anything. I've come to appreciate ecumenism much more being in a state run by an unbelieving cult. I've never appreciated Roman Catholics so much as when I consider how we share Jesus, whether or not we share a fully grace-based theology. Again, what matters? Jesus. That's all.

The weekend after this, I got to do a lot with Genesis Project. It's a church that really looks to reach out to the outcasts. Friday night we got food together and brought it door to door to the projects in Ogden. It was awesome to give these families fresh produce and breads. I have come to appreciate more than ever tangible expressions of the love of Christ. Saturday they had a huge Mother's Day lunch at a park. About 500 people came and we basically ran out of food way before the day ended, but it was so cool to see so many poor families enjoying kids activities and barbecue ribs and chicken. I love what that church does. (Wow! I'm super excited right now! The baristas just started talking about how much they love worshiping Jesus!) I went to something with Refuge Church after that which was also cool and encouraging. Oh!! That's right, I got an email from my friend Kacie that day who is a nurse serving aboard Mercy Ship. She was excited to tell me about her experiences (her first real experiences with Christians, I'm so stoked!).

The missionaries came over that night to basically figure out if they still were going to come. I was really frustrated with it. I wouldn't give up on them. They talked about humility and how we weren't submitting to what they were saying. I was bothered but kept pushing them to meet. We agreed on a time and then they said they wanted to meet at the Institute building. That freaked me out a bit because I have been pushed to talk with those in charge and I don't want that again. Right after they left a few friends were passing buy and they prayed with me for the meeting to not happen. That night a YWAM couple came. They stayed for a few days and we went to a Family Ward which was a new experience for me. Not a good one, but not really worse than anything else, haha.

I met a girl aptly named Christian who moved out here to minister to Mormons. She's renting a room from a super Mormon family who have the missionaries hang out there all the time, so naturally she's pretty discouraged. It was cool to talk and encourage each other.

When it came time to meet with the missionaries at the Institute, I was in battle mode (probably because I spent all my free time that week reading a kids' series that had a LOT of sword fighting in it). It was from God, I think because it made me consider the armor of God passage for the first time in detail. I realized it was not a battle "against flesh and blood"-I'm not up against the LDS Church or the people in charge. It's a rescue mission. It was cool to be thinking about that. We went to the Institute and waited for an hour and a half and they never showed. God answered those prayers. I was quite relieved.

Last night we had a meeting about the Community Garden. This guy named Jason found my flyer at Weber and helped us out a TON. I am SOOOO excited for this!!! Today I awoke to the mailman delivering a hundred packets of seeds from the government. We put together a layout and are planting this week. Please, please, please be praying for that. For the next week, that is my main focus. I am so so so so so excited about this. I want to become a farmer. If you knew me especially back in high school (or even a month ago) you would have never thought I'd be all gung ho to start an organic garden but I am giddy about it. I love my little seedlings. I'm so excited to start this up and see what God does with it. Please pray that he does a lot. http://xpcommunitygarden.blogspot.com/

The next thing after that will be just preparing the Blue House for the summer. I am in charge of planning just about everything for the interns and teams that are coming. I have to get the house ready to hold a lot more people than it should. I'm so excited about what God will do with that. Please pray that God does a miracle this summer in Ogden and in the hearts of individuals.

So I only thought I had a few sentences to update you on, but this is a bit longer. It's funny how much God reminds me what he has actually been doing when I think it's been a sleepy week. Nope, he's got his thing going. I love you all and hope you are doing well!

"You talk to God like he's your friend."

News is starting to pile up and I have a few spare minutes which means it’s blogging time!

I had a wonderful time at home. I felt so loved and encouraged by my family, friends and church family. Long Beach Alliance Church is amazing. I got to share with Kairos (thank you, Kerry) about what God has been teaching me. I am realizing how much I have put knowledge ahead of unity. God never told us to know everything. He did tell us to love one another, put each other’s interests above ourselves, and be of one mind. Putting pride in knowledge above that is not love of God or others. That’s self-love. I was wrong and I apologize to all of you for that. If you don’t know me that well, I probably would have done the same to you. Please forgive me for caring more about myself than you.

So, since I have been back: There aren’t night classes for ADI starting up until maybe fall, so I’m not teaching. Instead God is giving me lots of other things to do.

My biggest project right now is starting a community garden. I am doing a lot of organizing and indoor gardening for now. It’s been really crazy busy, but I’m super excited. The goal is to feed people and bring the community together to work on a project. We have about 1500 square feet of land to till. Please be praying for things to come together with that and that it will be a blessing for Ogden. We’re planting May 21 and a lot of things have to come together before then.

I was able to meet with my LDS friend last week before she left to work on a Mercy Ship for the summer. It was really great and before we left, I asked to pray for her. She is very friendly and is definitely one of my favorite people I’ve met in this state. After I prayed she had tears in her eyes and was completely silent for a long while. Finally she laughed and said “you talk to God like he’s your friend.” She was mesmerized. It was so cool. I made her a care package that included a worship CD and a Promises of God book. I am so excited for what God has to offer her in the next couple months. Please be praying for her. I’ll never forget that moment.

I made cupcakes and took them to the apartment next to me last week. That was cool to meet a lot of the people that live there. Most of them are in my ward so it was cool to see them on Sunday. I’m going to try to start chaplaining there, so pray for opportunities there.

This Sunday I gave my testimony at my ward for Fast and Testimony Sunday. The information I shared was good but my own personal presentation of it was not. I got really nervous and felt bad about taking too much time, but I got to share with a hundred lost people that Christ died to set us free and how dare we submit to less when that freedom cost so much. I also talked a lot about loving and being loved by God when we have nothing to offer. Ironically, relief society was about “increasing my righteousness.” It was really ridiculous. I had nothing at all to add to that conversation.

Monday night I went to Family Home Evening. I accidentally sat down next to the bishop’s wife and then ended up being across from the other guy in the bishopric and his wife and the bishop sat on the other side of me. Long story short, it came out that I am not a member and that I am a non-denominational Christian who is interning for a church-planter. I had to explain what I actually do over and over again. It was awkward but I played dumb and kept the conversation light and they were nice about it. We’ll see how that goes.

Tuesday a few friends from Intervarsity and I went down to Temple Square. We made lunches for homeless people so we got to have a few good conversations with them. We talked to a Satanist, a believer and everything in between. We had a lot of conversations with sister missionaries and got to pray with them and share the gospel with them. It was a tiring but super cool day. That day I also spoke with the bakery manager of a grocery store and she’s going to be calling me a few times a week to pick up bread and bring it to lower income apartments in Ogden. I am really excited to start that ministry as well!

Tomorrow is a prayer event at the Blue House and I’m meeting with missionaries. Be praying for good opportunities with them. We’re working on making the Blue House nicer and making a game room for the basement. We have tons of teams coming this summer and will have six interns so it’ll be really busy. I am in charge of training the interns for the summer and of most of the teams that are coming. It will be cool to mix the ministries that I am doing and have the resources and man-power to get some cool things done. Pray for God to do awesome things. Joe, Jennifer and the kids are going back to New Jersey this weekend because Jennifer’s grandfather passed away tonight. Please pray for them.

That’s all I can think is going on for now. There has been an ton going on this week but that’s a little of it to share with you. This morning I shared this on the radio and I think I’ll close with it. During the relief society thing I was reading my Bible and landed in Isaiah 58. It was perfect for Fast and Testimony Sunday. They believe they are satisfying God with their humility and righteousness but they are not doing his will. This is what God’s will is and this is what I am excited to be doing!

True and False Fasting

58:1 “Cry aloud; do not hold back;
lift up your voice like a trumpet;
declare to my people their transgression,
to the house of Jacob their sins.
2 Yet they seek me daily
and delight to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that did righteousness
and did not forsake the judgment of their God;
they ask of me righteous judgments;
they delight to draw near to God.
3 ‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure,
and oppress all your workers.
4 Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight
and to hit with a wicked fist.
Fasting like yours this day
will not make your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is such the fast that I choose,
a day for a person to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a reed,
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast,
and a day acceptable to the Lord?

6 “Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
12 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.

13 “If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath,
from doing your pleasure on my holy day,
and call the Sabbath a delight
and the holy day of the Lord honorable;
if you honor it, not going your own ways,
or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; 
14 then you shall take delight in the Lord,
and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

Refiner's Fire

God is good and his steadfast love endures forever!

 (Weber State Thursday)

Here's the update: 

            The Filers are back east in New Jersey and West Virginia spending time with loved ones and raising support. They are gone most of April which is so exciting for them! Joe has been feeling great, praise God!

            Last week I went to Temple Square a few times and had some good conversations. When I was going down to Salt Lake with the group from my ward I kind of realized my mission field is LDS girls specifically, because I hadn't been able to open up relationships with LDS guys. However, this weekend I did! I had a game and movie night with a few guys from my ward at the Blue House and it was really fun. I'm glad God continues to break my expectations!

This past Thursday-Saturday I got to hang out with Meghan Cassidy, a girl from college group at LBAC. She was traveling to Wisconsin to go raise her niece and nephew. I was so encouraged by her dedication to being Jesus to this family. It was SOO cool to hang out with her for a few days and be able to encourage her as well. We spent time together watching Zac Efron movies (HSM3 and 17 Again!), singing songs from Tangled, going to Intervarsity, exploring Temple Square, hanging out with the LDS guys, and having people over for pancakes on Saturday. It was a joy to have her here and I hope God makes it happen again soon!

            Sunday I went to my ward and in Relief Society (girls' club) we were told to not give into sexual temptation because we are daughters of god and are future goddesses. From here on out, I will use a lower case "g" when referring to the god of Mormonism. I did not like hearing that crazy doctrine said so nonchalantly, but it does open me up to addressing the blasphemy to Mormons, because I heard that from attending their meetings and not from reading "anti-Mormon" literature. 

            Something to pray for: Joe asked me to move forward with a new thing for the blue house. We basically want to make it a living community centered on loving God and people. Please pray for God to do a miracle with this whole thing and how to not make it interfere with what God is doing with Intervarsity. I'm impulsive but am horrible at making things actually happen. Please pray that God will put this vision on the hearts of those he wants involved and that Ogden will be changed.

            Tonight I got a really cool place marker for where I am at spiritually. What people here observe in me is not anything like I was last year. What I took pride in before seems empty compared to what God has done in me now. He has made me a new person. He has brought me through the Refiner's Fire that I may love him. When asked who Jesus was, the man born blind said, "One thing I do know, though I was that though I was blind, now I see." My “testimony” of Christ is that though I was proud, now I love. I get to bring my new self back home for Easter (how fitting)!

(My backyard Friday)

            It has been snowing here which is a cool illustration for the blood of Christ. It covers up a dead land with the whitest stuff you ever saw. It’s the most peaceful in the world. When the sun comes out, it nourishes the land and out comes healthy plants, deeply green and hearty. Though we have to go through spiritual winters, I hope you find the peace, purity and nourishment that come from Jesus alone. When you are made new, may you be hearty and healthy and glad for even the coldest nights. It has been a really tough process for me because some parts of it still hurt, but I thank him all the same for freeing me from myself.

 (This week at Temple Square)

Isaiah 42:5-10 and 43:1-5

Thus says God, the Lord,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spread out the earth and what comes from it,
who gives breath to the people on it
and spirit to those who walk in it:
“I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness;
I will take you by the hand and keep you;
I will give you as a covenant for the people,
a light for the nations,
to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.
I am the Lord; that is my name;
my glory I give to no other,
nor my praise to carved idols.
Behold, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth
I tell you of them.”

Sing to the Lord a new song,
his praise from the end of the earth,

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,

God Responds!

Proverbs 24:11 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. 

            This weekend is/was General Conference, the semi-annual meeting of the LDS Church where the Prophet and Apostles speak and give new revelation. 21,000 Mormons go into the conference center to hear their speakers and the Mormon Tabernacle choir in person (this is where Proverbs 24:11 hits home). Thousands of others spread out through Temple Square to hear the broadcast in overflow sections. The rest watch it on the TV or listen on the radio. It’s the central event in the LDS Calendar. They basically stopped giving prophecy as we understand it, because they realized they can’t. Most of the “talks” as they are called are feel-good messages about how great it is to be a Mormon. Sometimes big changes are made (like a few years ago when the Word of Wisdom was re-interpreted to not mean any caffeinated beverage, but only tea and coffee…funny how that same year one of the Apostles was on the board for Pepsi), but usually it’s about being good people and feeling the spirit. Crazy evangelists hold signs during this time and tell Mormons they are going to hell. Others try to strike up conversations, but most of the throngs of people are set on getting into that building.

            I was invited by a girl in my ward to join her and a handful of others to try to go get tickets in the standby line. We went to her parents’ house the night before in South Jordan, and then awoke early the next day. I regret that I put my own comfort above showing love actively for most of the night, but I was able to learn a lot about what it means to be LDS and how LDS families work.

            Temple Square during General Conference is almost unrecognizable. As we waited in line for a couple hours, we were visited by several pairs of missionaries. It was interesting to hear them speak to an audience of Mormons. They have a new policy of doing teaching through the phone. They asked everyone to go through their phones and give them the names and numbers of all the non-members they know. One in particular struck me because she was so well-suited to be a missionary there. She is a strikingly beautiful girl from Germany and was forceful and flirtatious in everything she said, so that she got what she wanted from everyone. About half the people they talk to on the phone get baptized. That was really sickening to hear. Please pray about that. It was very frustrating to hear them be super excited about the “spirit” and worshipping God by all singing “Praise to the Man” in the conference. My stomach turned at the thought of that. I started praying that we wouldn’t get in. I saw several missionaries that I know and tried to get to know the ones that stopped by. Two that have been fake and deceptive in our talks thought I was in the process of converting when I said I came with my ward. Their excitement and pride really bothered me but I didn’t know how to tell them I wasn’t interested. I think they assume I’m in that successful half.

            When I finally texted people for prayer, God answered! The encouragement I received back built me up and gave me more confidence in having friendly conversations with my group. The conference started and we did not get in. They decided to go back up to Ogden instead of staying in Salt Lake. I had been pleading with God to bring the Temple Square missionaries I love to us. Just as we were leaving I finally saw them and went up and said hello. It was a really friendly greeting and I gave them my phone number. I’m really excited to start talking with them more.

            We saw the anti-Mormon crowd and on another corner I saw a pastor I know holding a sign that said “God Loves Mormons.” I said hello and introduced him to my group. He gave them a paper he wrote on how the atonement happened on the cross rather than in the Garden of Gethsemane which is LDS teaching. They politely took it but one kept muttering to himself “lies!” as he read. Right after I saw Tommy, a homeless guy whom I had lunch with a few weeks ago. It was cool to say hello and give him what I could. That’s something strange to Mormons. They don’t usually take care of homeless people, because they give so much to the Church (that does not take care of homeless people), they value hard work very highly and look down on idleness, and because they see tobacco and alcohol as such evils.

            After a few hours of public transportation, I was back in Ogden and got to go hang out with Christians. I was so excited that God took care of that situation. He really loves his people and he responds to their requests! I don’t know what we would do without prayer emails and texts, but I am thankful for them! I want to encourage you to ask people to pray for you; God really does it! You can’t get much more biblical than crying out to God.

Let us set our affections on Jesus and be fountains of worship and justice.

            My heart breaks for my Long Beach Alliance family. I love you all so much and miss you. I’m praying for healing and wisdom for the body. I know that God has been sanctifying our church and doing wonders in this congregation. Where God’s kingdom advances, there is opposition. Unity is God’s perfect plan for his Church so I pray that we are all able to draw together with this.

            God has been moving out here in Utah and I hope good news of the kingdom is an encouragement to you.

            Missionaries: I have begun to have really good conversations with sister missionaries at Temple Square. It has been really cool to talk without arguing and in every possible conversation share the gospel (without ignoring differences). I have had awesome opportunities to pray with different girls and have really enjoyed my time with them. There are a few on-going relationships that I am thankful God is giving me. There are two that I have encountered twice at Temple Square who are not incredibly fond of me. They called me to do home teaching and were dishonest with their teaching. I asked them a question about something I knew they had lied about (the origins of God and of humanity, I did not accuse them of lying) and they ended the conversation, but asked me to pray first, so that was good. It has been a week and they have not called back. I’ll probably call them in the next few days. There is another pair that I met with when the Scottsdale team was here. I think I mentioned them-we had a really great conversation that began pretty casual, then turned to them paging security, and then got back around to sharing the gospel in love and praying for them. It was incredible. I ran into them this week! It was SUCH a blessing, one of those times where God gift-wraps the perfect present. They remembered me and thanked me for praying for them the time before; they said they still talk about that. Praise God! We all prayed together (Colleen was here) and then they had an appointment to get to. SUPER amazing. I am going to figure out a way to spend more time with them and just catch up and pray together. Seeds were planted, ask that God waters them please.

            There are also two sister missionaries coming to the Blue House. This is like the coolest thing in the world. They have both been here as long as I have, so we are all greenhorns at this whole missionary thing. The first time they stopped by and we met and had a really fun and light conversation. They came the next night and it was AWESOME! They gave their presentation on the restoration of the gospel which was really full and helpful. Then we ate dinner together and I told them what God was doing in my life. It was super cool! They had to rush to the next meeting but the hour and a half FLEW by. It was super cool. They came again this week and it was even better! They gave the plan of salvation and were super pumped about it. It was cool that they are genuinely interested in this because there isn’t anything robotic about them. When you are real and excited, you are open to hearing more and considering things. We asked a few clarifying questions and they were really happy to answer it. What was interesting is that they did not bear their testimonies at all, which is what they do to turn their minds off and let the “burning in the bosom” speak for them. After that, THEY ASKED US HOW WE BELIEVE WE ARE SAVED! What an awesome opportunity to share the gospel! We did! I think they were a little bit crest-fallen to find that while we were interested in what they had to say and did listen, we were much more excited when it came to our passion for our gospel. However, they asked awesome questions, like what we do with sins we haven’t repented of, and the age-old “what then, should we continue in sin that grace may abound?” with genuine interest. They were really seeking to understand what we believe. It was ridiculously awesome! At the end of two hours we were hugging and laughing and getting excited for our next visit! It was absolutely wonderful to talk about the gospel. If the thought of the gospel doesn’t get you giddy, you are in need of one of those conversations. Find someone and start talkin’, friends!

            Intervarsity: Oh man, I love intervarsity. It has been such an encouraging thing. That’s where I’m primarily finding a family of believers with whom I can fellowship and worship. It’s wonderful. We’re going through Romans and man, it is incredible to get together and study the gospel message in the middle of the week. I love it and am so appreciative of the whole community and especially Cindy who leads my small group. She is a fountain of grace and it is awesome learning from her experience of God weekly. We had some intervarsity people over for pancakes on Friday which was a lot of fun. It was snowing which detained some people (including our missionary friends who were going to come if something didn’t come up), but it was a good step towards making the Blue House a place of fellowship for Weber State students. Pray for more opportunities. I am also going to work with them to lead half-day mission trips down to Temple Square. Pray for that, I would love to start a ministry within that awesome group and get people excited and equipped to share Christ with their LDS neighbors. Please also pray for Shannon who would like to start the group for people exiting the LDS Church. She needs guidance in what steps to take to move forward with the vision God has given her.

            Ward: I love the ward I go to, if the term ward encompasses the people. I think when I hear it used it usually means the district that it covers, but I love the people at my ward. I have started going late so I miss the sacrament meeting which is pretty dull (but only if something comes up and I am using the time in something valuable). I go for a Sunday school class on the New Testament which is great because I can participate and without being disagreeable, give insight into what the passage is actually about. It has been really fruitful and I have been able to turn dry self-help conversations into Christ-centered ones. Pray that I can keep planting seeds in that and in Relief Society, which is the all-girls meeting. I do the same there. It’s really cool. I am making friends there and am pretty well-established.

            The Peak: Chaplain ministry is going very well. We are more than halfway complete in our Community Chaplain training and it’s going to be a really cool way to minister. Please pray for opportunities to find places to chaplain and for hearts to be prepared. I inquired about a chaplain position at a hospital Joe sent me but I have not heard back. I also applied to be part of the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team of chaplains but won’t hear back from that for about a month. The Peak’s church plant has a potential building to move into, if the funds come in. that is very exciting! Joe’s health is very much improved on vitamins and an organic diet. He is able to do a lot of good with the Corporate Chaplains ministry he is in and has now seen two people come to Christ for the first time! He and his family are going back to New Jersey to raise support and visit loved ones for the larger part of April. Please pray that God will give them a wonderful time and that people will be excited to get involved with this ministry! ADI will begin night classes for Christians of all ages in the area in the next couple months. We are looking to have classes at Washington Heights Church. There is also a generated interest for the Summer Session which will be awesome. There are also a lot of teams coming out with UPFC and several people interested in internships, including Colleen! The Peak is going to put on a financial help seminar to reach out to the community and wants to start a ministry to Spanish-speaking people in the summer.

            Personal life: God is good! I think I had people praying about some unnamed personal stuff that I wanted resolved. It was hurting and because I did not have closure or resolution, I was really vulnerable to attack especially when I get to wards on Sunday. I don’t really feel oppression on Temple Square but it’s at the wards that I get attacked. I think that’s because I have the most opportunity to show love there. But praise God! At Intervarsity this week God really spoke to me and showed me that I was misunderstanding that situation. I wasn’t making mountains of molehills; rather I was making giants of windmills. He healed me very deeply and I am so grateful for that. I am also growing closer in friendships here. Because all I do is ministry stuff (and Netflix, I admit), I don’t really know how to talk to people about things other than God, but despite my awkwardness it’s been really cool to get to know people more. I am really enjoying a different type of love for people than God has given me in other situations. It is quite swell. I was pushing a lot but once I got sick I had to start slowing down and resting more, but unfortunately that brought back a lot of laziness. Pray that I’ll be motivated to be actively pursuing whatever God wants to do with me. Also, there are some messy political situations with the Bible Institute that I don’t want to be involved in but am being pulled into. Please pray that I will have wisdom to be supportive but will not be asked to join into too much. It’s not a battle God has motivated me to join.

            Other things: I am officially going to be here for a year. Joe would like me to consider coming back next year to work with the Peak’s college ministry but I don’t know if that is what God is calling me to. I still feel very invested in LBAC and it is my desire to go back to serve there while paying off college debts but I could be trying to make God’s will fit with mine. Including pledged support, I am pretty much financially set for the year! God has provided abundantly and I am so blessed with my church family and other loved ones. Even when I am alone I am being surrounded by the support of the body because each day I wouldn’t be here without it. I appreciate you all so much. I pray that this is encouraging to you and that you are meeting God with any hurts and getting his answer. I love him dearly and love you all.

Reflections on Glory

I promise this will be a spiritual discussion. J

            On Friday Russ took the Scottsdale team on a “fun adventure.” We ended up at a cemetery and he encouraged the kids to wander around and think about the brevity of life and the urgency of our mission. He reminded us that most of the names represent people in hell, which is absolutely true though horrifying. I thought that was an interesting way to end their trip but it ended up being really meaningful for a lot of them. It was helpful for me to put together a few of the things God has been telling me lately.

            Firstly, there’s the urgency of the gospel. Really. People are going to hell. Atheist Penn Jillete, in a famous video blog, called out Christians who don’t proselytize. He said that if someone was going to be hit by a bus, he would tell them and if they wouldn’t listen, he would shout or even push them out of the way. If we believe in hell, it is evil for us to not warn people! I do not believe that every person is a mouth. We make up a body and those of you that are praying for me are fulfilling your mission to some extent by doing that. Those that are serving, giving, teaching, encouraging, whatever, you are doing what God gifted you to do. The people that missionaries talk to will have you to thank in heaven. However, we all have people that we love. Sharing with them the gospel is the only consistent thing we can do if we claim to believe God and love them. Please consider that seriously. If you do not tell these people, they will find out some other way. If someone in this life tells them, they will feel betrayed that you didn’t love them enough to be honest and if they find out in the next life, they will be in hell. Please consider the gravity of that. Do you love people? Do you believe God?

            Secondly, when I was missing home and LBAC the most, I was reminded by a good friend that this life is but a vapor, and it is much better to fellowship with you all in eternity to come. How great is that?! All things I feel that I am sacrificing on this earth will be fully reclaimed in the next, provided that they are God’s things. I get to worship with you all forever! I look forward to that with desperation and delight. I am so excited! I read Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand recently (if you haven’t read it, request it online free, please) and fell in love with God’s church all over again. Our brothers and sisters have been giving up everything for eternity and still are. It’s estimated that Stalin killed about 10 million Christians. Weep for these people but rejoice that we get to celebrate with them when they are healed of their wounds in heaven. I want to join their ranks and give something up in this life for the precious name of Jesus. Just a couple weeks ago four missionaries were murdered by pirates. They gave up everything they had a few years back to sail around the world distributing Bibles to those that cherish the Word in a way we never have. Wow! So cool!

            Thirdly, I read the Narnia series a few weeks ago and that was a joy. The last one was a cool reminder of what’s to come. Like, whoa! This life is but a shadow of the New Earth. We have been redeemed and been made New Creations (oh man I love regeneration) so that we can see a bit of God’s design in the world and can occasionally get a taste of what is next. Standing in a graveyard, this girl and I discussed what that’s going to be like. We are finite beings. We have eternity to learn more and more about the infinite God we worship. We get to grow relationally and intellectually and musically and in every way forever! We get to practice dominion over this world and get to continue to create and we get to rule with Christ! This life is a vapor. That is what I am excited for!

            Now here’s the reason for the picture. I’m not a big animal person but they are growing on me. I have always loved sharks though, especially great whites. I think in junior high I watched a show on great whites leaping out of the water to hunt and it captured my imagination. How can those huge things do that? They are mechanically so different from porpoises that do the same thing but in very different ways. I started to love these giant monsters that God designed to show something about himself. God loves sharks, too, and much more than I ever will. They glorify him! It’s man that sinned, not beast. They do what God made them to do and keep on doing it. I love that! Trees continue to do just as God told them; they grow and produce fruit and release oxygen and host other creatures. But I digress. There’s a special from Shark Week a few years ago called “Sharkman” that I believe gives a taste for the new earth. This guy basically found out that sharks like to be touched on the nose and even like to be pet like cats. There’s this thing called “tonic immobility” which basically involves them getting calm and almost catatonic when they are turned upside down or touched gently on the nose. This guy likes to free dive with great whites so he applied this to them and it worked! It’s the coolest thing I have ever seen. But what’s amazing is that God promised that predators and prey will lie down alongside each other peacefully. They’ll eat grass and not harm each other. That’s how he designed the world and that’s how he’s going to redeem it. I think the new earth will look like this one, just radically transformed because sin has torn everything up. This tonic immobility thing is a little hint of the peace and enjoyment we’ll know with even the most frightening of creatures in the future.

            So basically I’m looking forward to glory.

Quick update: the Scottsdale team left. I had strep throat so I took a step back towards the end of their stay. My mom came out and visited and we had a wonderful weekend together. There’s a team coming from the Master’s College in California this Saturday. I’m all better from the strep save for a headache I have now which has more to do with Fat Tuesday than anything. J I miss you and love you all!

Scottsdale Christian Academy Rocks My Socks

            Hello my Beloved! I love you all and as God has been giving me genuine affective love for more people I find myself loving those I loved before more. That’s a cool way God has designed us. Our capacity to love him and others grows with use and does not get used up. How cool is that!

            I am a great lover of hymns. Not all hymns, but the great ones. I love that we can commune with past believers in singing their songs. They have meditated on the truths we love and have poured out their hearts and minds in worship. The team that is out here now has been doing a lot of hymns and I love that I get to sing with them morning and night. The songs that have been speaking most loudly to me lately are Rock of Ages, Doxology and In Christ Alone. Love them lots. However, there is a modern song that I also love. Here are a few lines followed by an explanation.

A thousand times I’ve failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I’m caught in your grace

My heart and my soul, I give you control

Consume me from the inside out, Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending your glory goes beyond all fame

            So that’s not the whole song and it’s not in the right order I don’t think but I’m sharing it with you because you and I are so blessed to have a religion that can honestly say that to our God.

            Backtrack a bit: this has been an incredible week. These kids are amazing. I love them so much and they give me a greater love for the church at large. I am so glad that God is raising up such as these in the faith to do his work in the kingdom. Saturday they witnessed at Temple Square. Sunday they witnessed at local wards in Ogden. Monday they tried to go to seminary classes but were instantly booted out for trespassing. They snuck into Institute classes and when they got kicked out, many of them went right back in. Some of them met with the Director of the Institute and were commended for being respectful young adults. Others went to the Student Union at Weber and passed out a hundred papers refuting the claims of Mormonism with the Bible and sharing Christ with people there. Other groups went to a local mall and spoke with every single person there, sharing Christ and praying with all that would let them. Others went to the Ogden Temple and spoke with missionaries. These kids are on FIRE. When they weren’t allowed to do something, they didn’t give up. They tried and tried and tried again. I am so proud of them.

            That night my friend Shannon came over and shared with them about how she was saved out of Mormonism. She had been questioning but you’re not allowed so she covered up her questions with works. She visited a Christian church where she heard a message about living from the inside out (explanation for song) and she decided she was done with the LDS Church. She had never heard that before because Mormons teach that if you do good you will become good. Because this is impossible (it’s Pharisaical), it leaves them feeling empty, depleted and unworthy often times. Celebrate that God wants our hearts! He makes them his and then changes them from the inside out! Yay! She also told us that she had never had anyone witness to her before and most LDS people don’t know people outside their religion. These kids are witnessing all over Ogden to people who have never had that happen. Every person that has ever said “I love you” to them has been Mormon and no one has ever loved them enough to share with them the good news of our blessed Savior. These kids are planting seeds like you wouldn’t believe. Following her testimony was what I can only describe as a clash of the titans. Shawn McCraney of the Heart of the Matter Christian TV broadcast and Dave, a Mormon apologist battled it out before us. It was almost three hours of them yelling back and forth. It was…intense. It was filmed so hopefully it’ll find its way to the internet.

            Tuesday the kids went to the places they witnessed at the day before and prayed there for the Spirit to move in the hearts of those they talked to. After that we went down to Salt Lake and witnessed at Temple Square. It was awesome. I had some of the best times witnessing yesterday than ever before. I honestly believe I will meet a couple of those sister missionaries in heaven one day. I look forward to that day. I didn’t see people coming to Christ but I saw eyes and hearts opened. What a joy! I had some good times speaking with the team that day and then we went to the Heart of the Matter show. We got on TV for a moment and Shawn shared about the previous night’s adventure. Two of the callers were making decisions to give their lives to Christ. One was LDS and he didn’t know how to lead his family out of LDS and into the light. The other actually prayed with Shawn for Christ to take over his life and he was a different man from the start of the conversation to the end. He believed it and we could tell. Welcome to the family, Jason! What a joy to witness!! Or hear, I guess. But anyway, God is good.

            Today the team tried to go to seminaries but was ousted again. They returned to the mall, temple and student union building and some went to some apartments or door-to-door in this neighborhood. It wasn’t as good of a day of witnessing, but at least one woman wanted follow-up and will probably come to Christ in coming months. The kids had a fun afternoon of snowball fights and relaxing. Joe came and spoke about ADI with the team and then we had dinner. One of my LDS friends was planning on coming and she even ran into our kids today and said she would be here, but she didn’t show. That was a bummer but I’m sure also from God. I invited Tia Lynn over, who is an LDS woman I meet with regularly. The kids showed her a lot of love and grace. She was elated to be treated so well. I was glad to see it. Two other LDS young men showed up. One is a newly returned missionary and the other is a future missionary. They had met one of our kids at ward and Sunday and came for dinner. We fed them, fellowshipped with them, worshipped with them and some of the kids witnessed to them. They were here for about four hours which was awesome! God is moving!

            Sorry this is long. But there is a lot to share and this is the first time in a few days I will be going to bed without a migraine. As you can tell, God’s people are taking ground from the enemy. As you might expect, he’s fighting back. Hard. And his attacks have been on me personally. I think it’s because I’m in charge of just about everything and the spiritual forces in this area have had access to me the longest. But it’s been really hard. Russ warned me this would probably happen so I’m not completely surprised. Saturday I started to get sick for the first time since I have been here. I also got a ticket that night which I will admit is my fault. I didn’t notice my speed but it was still a big frustration and definitely distracting since I was rushing around making a second trip to the airport to pick up some lost luggage. Sunday my ward was split. Monday I got way more sick and ended up with a migraine. Tuesday a lot of things went wrong and I ended up getting a lot sicker. Wednesday I went to urgent care after sending off the team and got some medicine so I've been doing a bit better. It's been a lot of little things and some bigger things that have served to impede me from serving at my best, but God is not impeded nor is the advancement of his kingdom.

            This has been an amazing week and I have no doubt that God is moving. It’s just something to expect-when Satan starts losing, he starts fighting. These are his people and his goal is for them to live and die without hearing that God loves them and wants to be with them. Please pray that the last couple days of this team will be fruitful. It has been SO cool to be in charge of them. I get to come up with a vision and know that whatever I send them to do, they will do above and beyond what I ever would have thought. I love being in charge of these teams and I love these kids to death. I am so excited about what is next. God is moving.