Loving God and Loving People

 There has been a great deal going on. Instead of detailing everything, I would like to share with you what Charlie and I learned through all that we have experienced. We needed to learn these things through powerful demonstrations of God’s grace and Satan’s darkness.

 I live for talking about God. It is my favorite thing in the world and that’s what is on my heart. If you want to know me at all, you will undoubtedly get to know God in some way, because he is important to me and I recognize that the whole narrative of my life is God’s revelation to me. Knowing God is what my life’s story is about and loving God and loving others is what my life is about (though sin is also a large part of my life). This is something I expected to share with the Mormons I encounter, but that was a mistake. 

Because God’s law is written on my heart (under the New Covenant, Jeremiah 33 etc), doctrine is central to who I am and how I have experienced it is central to my story. However, LDS doctrine is more of a wall that Mormons hide behind. When they talk about what they have learned they repeat phrases they have been taught and not what they have experienced (aside from the burning in the bosom). To get to the heart of a Mormon person, we must avoid talk of doctrine which usually leads to more and more arguments. 

  A conversation between me and a Mormon that does not get specifically into doctrine will eventually end up in us opening our hearts. When our hearts are cracked open to one another, I will find darkness and longing and he or she will find Christ. I cannot say this will always be the case and there probably are lots of Mormons that really live for what they have been taught, but I can’t have that expectation if I am really going to touch them with the love of Christ.

Mormonism, especially in Utah, is a culture. I don’t understand how to navigate it yet, but it is a distinct people group. Mormons are event considered an ethnic group because they have their own world, their own practices and their own communities. I was told most of the born and bred Mormons in Utah are the descendants of the original LDS pioneers that settled in Salt Lake. 

 It isn’t going to be easy to understand the deeply held values that these people hold, but I am starting to get it more. Yesterday I met with a girl who left LDS for Christ last February. She wants to start a group for people leaving LDS to get their questions answered. She will be able to help them with the tough transition and give them the courage to make the decision. I will be able to help answer their questions and explain what the Bible means without the LDS bends. I am so excited about this and am so excited that I get to know her better.

While Charlie was out here, God put on his heart to start a prayer team. We want to transcend divisions and unite together as the body of Christ and Temple of the Holy Spirit and priesthood of believers to pray that Christ will be made known to Mormons. This needs to be done in a love for Christ and for Mormons. Our goal is to get a prayer team the size of the LDS Church, which is about 14 million. That is insane, we know, but reading 1 Corinthians chapters 1 and 2 has showed us that God uses the foolish things to confound the wise, and the small and weak to destroy the great and powerful. Please consider joining us in this endeavor. We ask that you read those two chapters with special attention to 2:1-5 and then commit to praying once a week that Mormons will know Christ. Go to www.foolsforchristjesus.org for more information and to make this commitment. 

We ask that whether or not God puts this specific ministry on your heart, you pass this on to your Christian friends, church family and pastors. If this prayer team isn’t your ministry, that is great. Glory to God who has a specific call on each of our lives. Find what that is and live for it. If God gets together a vast prayer army, to him be the glory! If he instead uses it to get together the 15 people signed on thus far to pray, let’s pray fervently and worship God for using his church to ask that his light pierce this darkness.

http://www.foolsforchristjesus.org/

My goal is NOT to make converts, but to glorify God.

WHOA.


The past few days have been a whirlwind. Time with my sisters was THE BEST. I love them to death and it was really life-giving to spend time with them. We didn’t end up getting to go to the ward or FHE after all because the times had changed. We did have a really great time hanging out though, together and with the Filers. On Tuesday night we went to Heart of the Matter, which is a Christian TV broadcast. There we ran into a group from Biola’s ministry to Mormons. It was really cool to talk with them and exchange contact information and hopefully try to work with them in the future. It’s amazing how God works!


Saying goodbye to my sisters was really, really hard. It made me really homesick and it made being away feel much more final. I miss them a lot. But I only had a few hours to grieve before the next big thing started. Wednesday night I picked up Charlie from the airport. He’s a short-term guy from Long Island, New York. It’s been really cool hearing his testimony and seeing God’s work in his life. He has only been born again for about a year and his passion for God’s glory is really encouraging. It’s been great getting to talk through the madness of this world with him.


Thursday was a rollercoaster. Charlie watched a documentary on the LDS gospel compared with the Christian gospel which was really eye-opening for him. Then we went to Weber State for an outreach event put on by Intervarsity, the Christian club. It was really cool to see them interacting with people around them and to talk with them ourselves. After that we went to a lunch at the LDS Institute. We sat with a few people and instantly started talking with them, asking questions and pushing them on some things and getting their opinions of others. It was a really cool conversation and we were both amazed at how well the conversation flowed. Before we knew it every table around us had been cleared, taken down and rolled away. We finally got up after an hour or more of talking through some really cool things. The girls we were talking to asked if we wanted to talk to Brother so-and-so because he could answer our questions better. And older man approached us and instantly began to try to psych us out and scare us. It worked. We were both really freaked out. It felt really dark and ugly and scary. It was pretty awful. The girls defended us, saying we had only asked questions (which it really was not an aggressive conversation at all). After we got their contact information we left feeling really down. I don’t really want to go into the details of that whole encounter but mainly it just felt Satanic and scary. That feeling was really horrible. After that we went to Temple Square and walked through the Church History Museum and the Convention Center. We had a good conversation with some LDS people there which was mainly about whether or not heaven is being with God and all believers or being with family and God. We left pretty discouraged still about all the darkness and how convinced these people are and how Godless it is. I was feeling really down. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I want to be home where I feel safe and loved and see Christ glorified in the church that I love so dearly. I don’t want to be here where it’s so dark and people are so hostile and mean. I really didn’t want to go to my Book of Mormon class. It was a really low feeling. But when we went back to the Blue House Russ debriefed us and he said that the old men in the church are just like that and like to intimidate younger people and especially women. That felt better. I can learn to deal with it if that’s the habit, I guess. I just wasn’t expecting it. He also said it was good that those girls saw the leaders they trust so much being jerks to young people who hadn’t done anything they saw as offensive. I didn’t think of it that way but it was really encouraging. After that I went to the Book of Mormon class and it ended up being not too terrible. I was SO grateful to God for that. Next was Intervarsity where we got to worship God. It was an outreach night and five people came to Christ. How encouraging! The theme was scars and God put a scar on my heart to ask his help in healing. After I was able to talk with the girl who wants to start a group for people exiting LDS and it was really great. The night ended wonderfully!


Today (Friday) was also crazy. Charlie had a lunch meeting with a Christian construction company out here called Building God’s Way. It was the best meeting of his entire life. He got to see godly men do something they are passionate about for God’s glory. How great is that! I did something super strange for me. I met with a lady who had contacted Russ and just wanted to talk to someone. She was in her fifties and is LDS born and raised. She kept talking about brain damage and I got the feeling that she may be a little bit paranoid, but we had an hour and a half conversation over Subway about all the suffering she has experienced in her life. She has been rejected by her ward and by her family. She wants to leave Ogden because she wants to meet new people (and in LDS you can’t go to a different ward unless you move into a different ward). She doesn’t know where to go. We talked about who Christ is in the Bible and about the fruit that his church is supposed to have; it’s supposed to reflect him. I finally just told her I don’t think that her church is Christ’s because it’s not reflecting Christ and it doesn’t show the fruit of the Spirit. I also told her I don’t get at all why she would stay there; it offers her nothing as a single woman and they don’t show her Christ. She said it was the truest church in the world and that she knows that because God revealed it. We had a good conversation about that. In the end I prayed for her and she cried. It was really cool to feel God prompting me to say things boldly but in love. Keeping the conversation on Christ is rather than the LDS church is kept both our hearts in line. She cried and thanked me and we are going to meet again, but she still is convinced some change other than religion is in order. I do not believe that this time next year she will be a Mormon. It was a great conversation. After that we went down to Salt Lake to visit Sandra Tanner’s ministry. She and her husband were both LDS and have for the past few decades been doing ground-breaking research on LDS. They are really the start of what this whole ministry is today. She was not in, but we talked with someone there and explored their literature a bit. It’s a cool ministry. Following that we went to an event at the Institute. We were both really jumpy and nervous, but it ended up going alright. We made some connections with people and didn’t have the same type of conversation as before but we made friends over dinner. That was followed by a speaker. The hymn we sang was one I have been dreading. It’s called “Praise to the Man” and is a worship song to Joseph Smith. I will put the lyrics below. Hearing 200 of our peers sing that is one of the most awful feelings…Charlie was nearly crying with anger and I wanted to leave really badly. After that a guy spoke up and it felt like we were listening to Satan give a sermon. It was just really bad. The whole thing was about the LDS Church, as is everything. The power over people is extraordinary. Afterwards we both felt really discouraged and wanted to leave right away. I was blessed to run into a guy I know from Intervarsity who had been invited. It’s amazing the blessings you feel seeing a Christian in such a dark place.


Afterwards we watched an episode of Heart of the Matter which felt better and went to help out Russ with his daughter’s birthday party. That was really fun and we got to talk through some things and felt a lot better. I really like having Charlie here. He loves God so much and is so excited about what is going on. He talks a lot and it’s so great to hear someone glorify God after listening to the opposite. He had an awesome idea tonight and I want to launch it as soon as possible. There are 14 million LDS members. He wants to get 14 million Christians to start praying for them. How incredible would that be? I heard a statistic today (that I would like to verify because I find it hard to believe) that 850 people out of evangelical backgrounds per DAY are converting to LDS. That is insanity. Why can’t we get fourteen million Christians to pray for these people? We want to try to figure out how to do that, so I’ll keep you posted.


I haven’t spent much time with Joe the last week because of all of this, but I found out today that the hospital messed up on what they were supposed to do for his blood work so they have to redo it. This is really frustrating for him because it’s taking a huge toll on his everyday life and the stress and worry about what it could be is really draining. Please pray for him.


#27 Praise to the Man


1. Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah.
Jesus' anointed, "that Prophet and Seer,"
Blessed to open the last dispensation;
Kings shall extol him, and nations revere.


CHORUS.
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven,
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain,
Mingling with God's he can plan for his brethren,
Death cannot conquer the hero again.


2. Praise to his mem'ry, he died as a martyr;

Honored and blest is his ever great name;

Long shall his blood, which was shed by assassins,

Stain Illinois, while the earth lauds his fame.

Hail to the Prophet, &c.


3. Great is his glory, and endless his priesthood,
Ever and ever the keys he will hold;
Faithful and true, he will enter his kingdom,
Crowned in the midst of the prophets of old.
Hail to the Prophet, &c.


4. Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven;
Earth must atone for the blood of that man!
Wake up the world for the conflict of justice,
Millions shall know "brother Joseph" again.
Hail to the Prophet, &c.

1 Peter 5:10

describes the night I had (thank you, Sarah):

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of ll grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

This week mainly I’ve been doing a lot of clerical work for Joe and for Russ. I think I said earlier that the Blue House is a cool place to live because there are so many different ministries going on here. Through someone here I got invited to go to a house church on Tuesday night and it was a great blessing. It feels awkward telling groups of Christians I am a missionary to their area so I have tried to be more creative in saying that but they’ve all been very encouraging. On Wednesday night I was invited to go again but I went to an Intervarsity small group instead. That ended up being really wonderful too and I learned a great deal. The club is working on being sent people this semester so it will be a great encouragement to me each week and it will also be cool to work alongside them.

Some updates:

1) Joe had a bad day today. He gets shaky vision that he deals with most of the time but today he also had a weird twitch. He got blood work done this week so pray that the symptoms will subside and that the problem will be figured out. He’s a corporate chaplain so on Thursdays he meets with 180 people at their work places and gets to talk with them about Christ. It’s an awesome opportunity!

2) Young LDS people go to seminary/institute each day to learn about their faith. In most places they go before school, but in Utah, they leave school in the middle of the day and it counts as a class they attend. Somehow this works with separation of church and state but I’m not sure how. The school that Joe’s kids go to was a Christian school but they just went public as a charter school, and they want to start the first Christian Institute in Utah. They are looking for someone to help so I think I am going to get involved in that ministry. I’m excited about it!

3) The Christian radio station that runs out of the Blue House has lots of people from different ministries coming out. One lady runs a ministry that rescues people out of polygamist homes (when they ask her to). Russ wants to see if I can somehow get involved with that. It is really cool to see a plethora of different ways to serve.

So, tonight: I registered for a Book of Mormon class at the Institute of Religion by Weber State (the Institute is where the Ward is, it’s just like the church building). I was told to go check in so when I did that they asked for a lot of information and took my picture. I had to be evasive about where I live so I could get in-they don’t let people from the Blue House into the classes. I got in though and went to class. It was horrible. They started off by talking about how anti-Mormons sometimes take the classes and basically said if you are one, don’t ask questions in class. They also said they’ll try to talk to you after class and invite you over for pizza and then give you anti-Mormon literature. His response to that was “don’t let what you don’t understand interfere with what you do understand,” “there’s always an answer,” and “ever question answered brings up 20 more, just stick to the basics.” Questioning the LDS Church is discouraged. People are just assured that there is an answer, so don’t worry about the questions. He also told us that he was not a “Bible-basher” with the implication that many LDS people are. It was pretty clear he does not like the Bible (except for a few verses from the KVJ) but that he isn’t going to bash other religions. I was really surprised by that; I thought that most Mormons pretended to like the Bible even if they don’t read it. The night was an introduction to why we have the Book of Mormon so it went through an LDS interpretation of all of history, which started with him saying, “history disagrees right and left” and I could not agree more as I heard lie after lie. A great deal of it was straight up bad history and the rest was bad theology. It would be a lot to go into all of what they discussed but I do understand the LDS religion more now. It’s absurd. And dark. It was really awful sitting through that. Like I wanted to cry half the time and when he was warning against anti-Mormons I was really terrified. Not like for my physical health but it was just so dark…I had forgotten how hard it is actually going to be to step into a place where people are being indoctrinated by Satan. He is very active there.

I was very glad to leave when it was done and when I walked outside I was blown away. When I left the house it was raining a bit (I was delighted it was warm enough to rain), so I couldn’t drive because my car has been protesting the cold by refusing to unlock, wipe its windshield and other miscellaneous things. But during the hour and a half I was inside, a full inch of snow had covered everything and it was snowing still a great deal. It was beautiful. In that instant I knew that God loved me and was taking care of me and that he knew that it was hard for me to sit through that class. I had a wonderful half hour walking through the snow, crying and praying to God. I have been lazy about my relationship with him since I have been here because it’s all been pretty easy, but I cherished talking to him at that moment. It was one of the greatest blessings and most intimate moments I have had with him. After that I went to the Intervarsity large group where I got to worship God and meet with Christians. I talked to a girl from my small group the night before and she told me she was raised LDS and was only saved a year ago. She was excited about what I am doing and we plan to talk about that more. I am really excited about it. A girl on Intervarsity staff spoke who was also involved in my small group. She is the kind of person that is a fountain of grace. I really look forward to investing in those relationships more. It will be really nice to go to that meeting every week after going to the Book of Mormon class.

Please pray for me-this is going to be tough. Starting next week I’m going to be a lot more involved in the ward right there (when I tried to tell the registration lady which one I was going to she said flatly “we have 46”…I’m not sure if she meant in Ogden or what, I was very confused). I know it will be really tough to be there and to listen to this all the time. And now I know they warn them against going to meals which is how we try to do things at the Blue House. But I also know that God is encouraging me in the relationships he is building here. Please pray for Joe and for strength for me. I am not afraid of being in a dark place in my own soul like I was before; now I am afraid of just being in a dark location. But I am excited to see what wonders are accomplished when part of the Temple of the Holy Spirit is brought to those places. Pray that Christ is magnified.

Getting settled

Hey Guys!

Here’s the update. I’ve been here for less than a week but it has been fairly busy. My parents drove up with me and we spent most of Thursday getting food and stuff I’ll need for life in the Blue House. I went to Intervarsity at Weber State that night where I got to meet a few people and see what it’s all about. I was really impressed-this college Christian club goes on a spring break trip in which they spend 8 hours/day studying the book of Mark-every year! That’s an awesome love and dedication to the book I greatly desire to be attached to. Friday we went to Temple Square and got to explore the Mecca of the LDS Church and see its full glory. I think that is a main difference between LDS and Christianity. The first gives glory to the LDS Church and the latter to God. Saturday they left and I spent some time getting settled before heading to the Filer’s house for dinner. I really enjoy that family (and Joe’s cooking). It’s an awesome opportunity for me to get to know them this year. Seeing God’s character displayed in them is a great blessing and I look forward to it continuing.

Sunday I went to church with them. The church is called Washington Heights; it’s pretty large but it’s broken up into various services so it does not feel like a big church. A woman came up to Joe and he introduced me. She’s just finished chemotherapy and is regaining her strength. She let me know that she has been praying for me. I felt very honored and convicted to receive prayer from a woman in a much more trying position than I can imagine. The beauty of God’s church struck me at that moment. Please pray for her; her name is Sandy J

Afterwards I tried to go to the LDS ward across the street (I can actually see two separate ones from the Blue House), but when I got there everyone was piled into buses. I didn’t really know what to do so I went back to the house and did some reading. I had been bothered by my lack of time spent with God since I left home and I ended up having a really nice day with God followed by another dinner with the Filers. It was a really enjoyable day.

Today I met with Russ about a few things I’ll be doing with him. In case I haven’t said it already, Russ East is the missionary whose ministry owns the Blue House. His ministry is called Utah Partnership For Christ in which he brings out short term teams for intense weeks of service. His main ministry is a radio station that broadcasts over most of Utah sharing really solid sermons almost continuously. Joe Filer is the C&MA church-planter I’m interning for. He and his wife lived at the Blue House for a year but recently moved out. His ministry is called The Peak and he as part of that he is running ADI. I’m working primarily with ADI. There are also other ministries using the Blue House-in the next week or so Christian counselors are going to be setting up an office and a Christian dietician. It’s a cool place to live-a lot of great things going on and always people coming in and out. The official name for the house is The Open Door and not without cause.

Anyways, I met with Russ to talk about the ways I’ll be serving with him. I’ll be checking in on the radio station to fill out logs and make sure things are running smoothly each day. The station is a foot from my bedroom so that won’t be a large task. It was interesting to see how that all works and it will be cool to be involved with such a fascinating ministry. When I came out this summer I met a couple who had been converted from LDS to Christ through stumbling upon that radio station. I will also have a big part in the short term teams that come out. I’ll be living with them, for one thing. But I’ll also be taking them around to the different places they’ll be serving and showing them around Temple Square and anything else. That will be really cool-short term trips are very busy and very intense. This summer promises to be pretty incredible. I will also have a part in planning their trips. There is a guy coming from NYC in a little over a week for a short term trip and Russ and I brain-stormed on things he’ll do here. I’ll be putting in some of the planning as I’ll be the one going with him on each of the activities. I’m trying to get him connected to a Christian construction company out here so I’ll be arranging meetings and figuring meals and things like that. It’s not what I expected to be doing but I am really excited about it. I’ve emailed him and he is really excited to serve God. Please pray for him; as Russ reminded me bringing people out here is part of stewardship over their souls for the time they are out here. We want to make each trip a 10 but won’t settle for anything less than an 8. I’m excited for that week. Being super busy with ministry will hopefully stimulate the relationships I’d like to start building.

I spent the rest of the day (well most of it) working on some clerical stuff for Joe. It’s nice to have things to get done and to do them. I’m not a task-oriented person but I like it from time to time. I wanted to go what’s sort of an LDS college group tonight but I found out too late where it might be so instead I’m getting some more things done (like this). I am trying to register for a Book of Mormon class so pray that that works out. My sisters are visiting this weekend!!!!! I’m super excited for that.

I think that is it for now. I appreciate your prayers and encouragement a great deal. I am currently very content but know once things start getting more difficult, you’ll be my lifeline. 

Mountain Time

I find it amazing that in 24 hours my world went from this: 

To this: 

Utah is absurdly beautiful. I really am not sure how I'll ever make it through the cold but at least for now I am really excited about this adventure. Leaving was hard, as to be expected, but God answered many prayers by giving me an excitement for what is going on. This is going to be tough but very good. I am happy to be here. After arriving at the Blue House, my parents and I had dinner with Joe, Jennifer, Drew and Zechariah Filer. I got to get some more information on the various things going on and my parents got their questions answered. I got more information on Joe's health problems; he has been having episodes in which half his body goes numb and he can't speak. They have ruled out strokes and seizures and have observed that he has too much white brain matter for someone his age. His insurance won't cover all the tests and the neurologist is unsure of what it is, so keep him in your prayers. There are some incredible things going on here so please pray that this will not hinder the ministry. Also pray that ADI (Adventure Discipleship Intensive, the program I originally came out here to teach) gets students. Things are going really well and it's an amazing program that God has put together but pray that people will come out and participate. A last prayer request: can you pray for my dad? He's having trouble with this whole transition. 

I will be taking the next few days to settle in and get the things I need. During that time I will finally be putting together a prayer team email-sorry that's been slow going. If you don't get an email from me tomorrow and would like to be on my prayer team, please send me an email and I will be sure to add you. 

Also, I really love Southern California. In all my years there I have never seen smog as bad as I did passing through Provo, Salt Lake and Ogden today. Tomorrow is supposed to be worse. So there all you naysayers, California isn't the worst :) I love you and am about to fall asleep. Thank you so much for praying!

Saying Goodbye…

….stinks. And, according to Carolina, a C&MA missionary and friend from my home church, they only get worse. Yesterday and the day before I said many goodbyes and to those of you that I did, I really will miss you. Last night I met with Carolina and was given some invaluable advice that I submit to you as prayer requests. The first thing she told me was to not forget that I am a person. It’s a big temptation in ministry to serve, serve, serve and never take a moment off. It is hard to say no to things when it is in ministry. All relationships seem to involve pouring into people, and it leaves those in ministry feeling dry. Carolina reminded me that I will really need time to be refreshed and be built into. My relationship with God is primary; I am a servant but also a daughter and need to abide in him for real fruitfulness. Please pray for me in that regard-I know that it will be hard for me to find balance and consider myself worth taking time for.

Carolina also told me that goodbyes stink. They are hard and always will be. She told me that the relationships I have at home will be my lifeline. Even though it is hard to miss people, it is important for me to rely on them and call my family or closest friends when things are hard. Ministry is great but it is hard. She said that people in ministry tend to be independent, but it is important to rely on the encouragement and support of others, whether phone calls, emails, letters or care packages. Please pray that I will be humble enough to accept love and encouragement and please encourage me. It will be necessary for me to have people pouring into me as I pour into others.

I’ll be leaving tomorrow at 3am to drive up to Ogden with my parents. They’ll stay for a few days and help me get moved in. Please pray for safe travels and a good time with my family before I’m alone.